hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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