It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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