so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
