Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
