that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
