so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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