He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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