gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
