So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
