I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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