Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
