Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
