THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
