some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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