when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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