I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
