Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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