I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Drake has all the answers
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
