Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
