And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
