I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
