I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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