It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Randomize
