your parents love me but you hate me
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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