I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
