i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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