I think i peed on brittanys purse
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
