is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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