shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
