Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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