I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
