I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
