Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
