the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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