So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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