He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
