I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize