So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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