And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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