the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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