If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
