Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
her facebook's as public as her vagina
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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