ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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