So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
