there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
