Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
