how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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