chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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