was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
