i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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