There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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