I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
