The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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