When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
