drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
