after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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