Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
